I wish I could show you my journal collection. Hang on, let me go count them. I’ll be right back.

Okay, I counted 23. This includes the Full Focus Planner, Bullet Journal, Gratitude Journal, Brandon Burchard’s High-Performance Planner Journal… it includes many different designs of blank journals that I started filling in. Oh, and I didn’t even include the numerous digital journals I’ve downloaded over the years, thinking it would be easier to do it on my iPad. Why do I have so many journals? Because, at the beginning of every year, every quarter, or even every season, I make a commitment to myself to start journaling. Unfortunately, after about month 2 or 3, I stop. I get out of rhythm, and I somehow lose interest. Then, you guessed it, I re-commit, and with my pure and stubborn will, I start again. And when I start again, of course, I need a fresh new start, and that’s why I go buy a brand new journal. And that’s why I have 23 unfinished journals in my collection. Funny? Not really.

By the way, I started journaling again last month, and I’ve been doing it for 18 straight days without missing a day. I am super proud, and for some reason, I am thinking this could be the year. Could it? Or could it not? I will let you know.

Remember I said last week that I am going to help you accomplish your goals this year? I’ve been doing some research, and I have some insights to share with you. This concept is totally making sense to me, and this… this could be the year that changes EVERYTHING!

First, I am learning that we all have different tendencies when it comes to goal setting. Depending on your tendencies, we need to determine what type of help you’ll need. And if you find the right type of help and accountability, you’ll be on your way to a new you. So, ready? Let’s learn.

There are two types of expectations: Inner and Outer. Inner expectations are things you expect of yourself. Are you constantly disappointed in yourself because you are always breaking the promises you make to yourself? A common example is self-improvement goals that only you know about… losing weight, reading more, waking up earlier, being on time, etc.

Outer expectations are things other people expect from you. Are you constantly disappointing others because you are always breaking the promises you made to them? A common example is failing to hit deadlines at work or not turning in your homework on time or not showing up to an appointment.

There are 4 possible personality types in the 4 tendencies. Read through these and see where you fit in.

1. Upholder: Absolutely meets inner and outer expectations. You love routines, schedules, and you love following the rules. People think you are extremely disciplined. You are highly productive, and you just know how to get it done. However, you are not flexible when it comes to needing to change plans, and sometimes, you really have a hard time relaxing.
2. Questioner: Meets inner expectations only. You love researching, and you ask “why” a lot… too much, in fact. If you believe in the “why,” you can pretty much accomplish anything. So, your outer expectations have to also turn into inner expectations. You love logic, you love to analyze to make your decisions, and you value efficiency, and you are always trying to improve processes. However, you get stuck trying to figure everything out first, often taking action too late.
3. Obliger: You put others ahead of yourself, and you value harmony in relationships. You NEED outer accountability to meet any inner expectation. You are super likable and very reliable. But you struggle with self-care, and you are always feeling obligation from others.
4. Rebels: You do whatever you want to do… and you do it your own way, on your own time. If someone tells you to do the exact same thing, you will resist. You prefer to act from freedom, choice, and self-expression. You are your authentic self. You love challenges, and you love proving others wrong. You will also be known as being uncooperative.

And here are the ways that each person in their tendency can find help to achieve their goals.

1. Upholder: You must clearly articulate your inner expectations. Write them down on your list and schedule them. There are only about 19% like you. Celebrate it and watch your dreams become a reality.
2. Questioner: You must define the WHY for each of your goals and know the importance of reaching your why. This will be your number one motivator and purpose for reaching your goals. Think long and hard and write down your why next to your goals and focus on it. There are only 24% like you.
3. Obliger: You can’t do it alone. You must create outer accountability. It’s not a sign of weakness; it’s just different wiring in the brain. Accountability could come in different forms for different people. Some of you just need a simple text reminder from others, but some of you might need supervision or monitoring from others to help you get things done.
4. Rebels: Do it out of love rather than obligation. Get clarity on your own values and use it as your decision criteria for whether or not to do it. But once you decide to do it, go all in. Know that it would help you redefine your identity.

If this information is intriguing to you, you can find more information from the author Gretchen Rubin in the book “The Happiness Project.” The book will go in-depth in helping and guiding you to not only reach your goals but also understand your preference in how you do the work. Oh, also, here’s the quiz you can take to see which tendency category you are in: https://gretchenrubin.com/quiz/the-four-tendencies-quiz/

I hope this can be a helpful tool in your journey to your best year ever. How awesome would it be for us to dream out our goals for the year, write them down, and be disciplined and inspired to do the work… and finally watch it come to fruition? It can be done. I believe in you. I believe in me. I believe in us. Let’s make this year a year of transformation.

Oh, by the way, I am a questioner, what are you?

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