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All posts by Hanju Lee

13Mar

The Perfect Paragraph for your Landing Page

First, you take a deep breath. It also helps when you close your eyes. Then, internally, you say to yourself, “You are enough.” Also, remind yourself, “Don’t take it personally what others say about you. And don’t be alarmed or surprised when there’s rudeness, rejection, and yelling…remind yourself once again…I am enough”. It even helps to say these sentences out loud that Stuart Smalley taught us on SNL. “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.” Ha!

Cold calling is hard.

Have you ever made a cold call? Meaning that you contact a business or general consumer you have never met to pitch your service or product. The truth is, you only have a little time. Everyone is busy and no one wants to be solicited. But, sometimes, you just have to make a cold call for your business, so let’s simplify this interesting activity that can be effective and painless. Here are some essential steps in cold calling.

Prepare for a call:

  • Take a deep breath
  • Prepare for rejection
  • Repeat, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.”

Start the call:

  • Make a human connection. Do not get into the script reading right away; try to talk to them like you just met them in line at a coffee shop.
  • Get to the point right away of why you are calling.
  • Have the perfect paragraph ready.

End the call:

  • Say thank you for your time
  • Get their contact info
  • Send them a follow-up

Why are we talking about cold calling during our landing page series? If you missed it, one of the bullet points above says, “Have a perfect paragraph ready.” The beauty of a landing page is that you get to avoid the hard steps of rejection because they come to you. But either way, you have to have the perfect pitch ready if you want to sell something. I will help you write that ideal paragraph and explain why and how it will work.

But before we get into the “Perfect Paragraph” writing, let’s go over what we’ve learned so far in our Landing Page Series:

  • The difference between the Homepage and the Landing Page – Read it Here
  • The Hero Image and Message Design – Read it Here
  • The Stakes – Read it Here
  • The Value Proposition – Read it Here
  • The Guide – Read it Here

The Perfect Paragraph, also known as the “Explanatory Paragraph,” is where you fully explain in a longer text (1-2 paragraphs) how you can genuinely help the customer. This is where you can invite your customers into a story—into a story of complete transformation. This paragraph is a story that your customer can lean into.

The Perfect Paragraph consists of 5 sections.

  • Transformation: It’s important to know that your product or service’s core purpose is to provide a transformation. This has to be clear. Help define who they are now vs. who they can be.
  • The Problem: What’s their pain? What do they want that they don’t have right now?
  • Empathy: Acknowledge and understand their pain
  • Solution: Offer how your product or service will help deal with their problem(s).
  • Action: Pave a path for them to follow to do business with you. (Try to limit to 3 steps).

Now, this is what you’ve all been waiting for. Let’s write your paragraph. (Just fill in the blanks.)

At __________________________ [your company name], we know you are the kind of people who want to be ____________________________ [what kind of person do they want to become?]. In order to be that way, you need ____________________ [as it relates to your product or services… what does your customer want?]. The problem is _______________________ [what problem is holding them back?], which makes you feel _________________ [how is that problem making them feel?]. We believe ____________________ [why is it just plain wrong that anyone should have to deal with that problem?]. We understand ____________________ [include an empathetic statement].

That’s why we ______________________ [demonstrate your competency to solve their problem]. Here’s how it works _______________________ [what’s your three-step plan: steps 1, 2 & 3] so _____________________________ [call them to action], so you can stop _________________________ [what negative thing will happen or continue to happen if they don’t order?] and start _____________________________ [what will their life look like if they do place an order?].

Here is the perfect paragraph for my own business. The bold words below are the sentences I am filling out from the blanks above.

At BOS Media Group, we know you are the kind of people who want to always help thrive and grow your business with creative ideas, the latest trends, and marketing efforts. In order to be that way, you need a team to help guide your day-to-day efforts in growth. The problem is that as an owner, you are doing and in charge of so many things you become the bottleneck, and you don’t have the energy to be creative or consistent in your marketing. We believe that as entrepreneurs, you should focus more ON your business vs IN your business. View your business from 10 thousand feet, dream out the vision, help execute the plan, and inspire your team along the way. But we understand that everyone falls into this trap, including me, and we get stuck. That’s why we are here. We know what it means to run a business and we understand how to help make it grow through marketing efforts. Here’s how it works, first, contact me directly for a free consultation, second, let us customize a marketing plan specifically for your needs that fits your budget and third, let us help execute the plan and watch your company thrive. So you can stop being exhausted and frustrated about not meeting your growth goals and start being re-energized and excited about the dreams and goals you once had for your business. 

What do you think?

Whether you are cold calling, creating a landing page, or just running a thriving business and living your best life, I think it’s crucial to have these paragraphs written out. They help refine and give more purpose to what you do. They might even give you a different perspective on how you can position your own brand and narrative. I would love to see your Perfect Paragraph. Please feel free to send it to me.

In the meantime, I hope you are enjoying the series. I am learning a lot as I teach it. So, thanks for your continuous support and love. Your comments and feedback are always so encouraging to me.

06Mar

Guide or a Hero?

What do these sets of characters have in common? Din Djarin & Grogu, Samba & Rafiki, Harry Potter & Albus Dumbledore, Neo & Morpheus, and finally, Elsa/Anna & Olaf?

If you guessed, one of them is the hero of the story; the other is the guide in the story…you are absolutely right.

If you follow my content, I often talk about “the guide”! I love the idea of a guide. If you want to know more it about a K-Drama story, I wrote about it here, titled “Butler Sung.” it’ll give you a good idea of who the guide is in a story and why they exist. To quickly summarize, as we identified here, every story has a hero and guide. A guide leads the hero into their purpose and transformation.

In business, it’s crucial not to see ourselves as heroes to save the day or our clients from destruction but to see ourselves as guides to help our clients be all they can be. To help lead our clients into their purpose and transformation.

Why are we talking about a guide? Thank you for asking; it’s because we are currently on the “The Power of a Landing Page” series, where I am walking you through each section of the most powerful landing page design and content. Here’s what we’ve covered so far.

  • The difference between the Homepage and the Landing Page – Read it Here
  • The Hero Image and Message Design – Read it Here
  • The Stakes – Read it Here
  • The Value Proposition – Read it Here

And now the 5th in the series, “The Guide”. Let’s dive a bit deeper.

In the context of a story, mentorship, or even in a business role, the guide possesses several key characteristics that contribute to their ability to assist and support others. Let’s highlight a few.”

  • Empathy: A guide understands and shares the feelings of others, creating a solid emotional connection and fostering trust.
  • Wisdom: Guides possess a wealth of knowledge and experience, offering valuable insights, advice, and lessons based on their understanding.
  • Patience: Guides exhibit patience, recognizing that personal growth and development take time. They allow individuals to learn and evolve at their own pace.
  • Listening Skills: Effective guides are active listeners, paying attention to concerns, questions, and emotions, creating an open and supportive communication environment.
  • Encouragement: Guides inspire and motivate others, providing encouragement during challenging moments and fostering a positive mindset.
  • Authority: Guides exhibit authority in their guidance, establishing a sense of leadership and expertise. They provide direction and make decisions when necessary, contributing to a structured and effective mentorship.

Out of these six must-have characters, for simplicity and clarity for our visitors on our landing page, let’s pick 2. My best two are EMPATHY AND AUTHORITY.

Empathy:

In “The Lion King,” Simba struggles with feelings of guilt and responsibility after his father’s death, Mufasa. Rafiki recognizes Simba’s emotional turmoil, and instead of simply instructing or advising him, Rafiki uses a moment of empathy. In a scene, Rafiki guides Simba to a reflection pool and encourages him to look into the water. Simba initially sees only his reflection, but Rafiki uses the reflection to show Simba an image of Mufasa in the water. Rafiki helps Simba reconnect with his emotions and understand that Mufasa’s spirit lives within him.

This moment showcases Rafiki’s empathy by understanding Simba’s emotional state, guiding him through a reflective process, and ultimately helping him come to terms with his loss and guilt. Rafiki’s approach goes beyond providing advice; it involves a deep understanding of Simba’s emotions and a compassionate response to support his healing and growth.

Authority:

In “The Matrix,” Morpheus serves as a guide and mentor to Neo. One significant moment that showcases Morpheus’s authority occurs when he offers Neo a choice between two pills – red and blue. The red pill represents a willingness to learn the truth about the Matrix, no matter how challenging. The blue pill represents the choice to remain ignorant, continuing with a false reality.

Morpheus’s authoritative presence is evident in this scene as he presents Neo with a pivotal decision that will significantly impact his understanding of the world. Morpheus’s confidence, knowledge, and conviction convey a sense of authority, guiding Neo toward self-discovery and a deeper understanding of the reality around him. The authoritative guidance sets the tone for Neo’s journey throughout the film.

Let’s put it in a simpler format for your Guide section on your Landing page.

Empathy:

  • Website Designing Company: We know how frustrating it is to have a great-looking website that doesn’t result in sales.
  • Cyber Security company: We know what it feels like to worry you’re not doing the right thing.

Authority:

  • Fitness Coaching Service: This is why we’ve spent the last twenty years helping clients just like you get in shape
  • Mattress Company: Join the 100,00+ who have already changed how they sleep at night.
  • Tax Attorney: With our 100+ collected years of experience in the industry.

Now, it’s your turn. Please answer these questions for your company and email it back to me. I’ve been enjoying your feedback and comments on these sections.

  • What statement can you make to express your empathy regarding your customer’s struggle?
  • List some examples of your authority and why they should work with you.

The more I talk about the guide, the more I want to be the guide in my own life. Being a hero is just too stressful and so much pressure. I got to get a cape, wear a body-tight suit, stay in shape, learn to fly..etc. I will just lay low and jump in at a chance to empathize with those struggling in their journey and needing my help in what I am good at so I can speak the truth and help guide them into transformation with authority. How about you?

21Feb

A Bike Shop’s Example of Good Marketing

I was chit-chatting with my friend the other day about his business, and as he kept talking about all the challenges he was facing, I couldn’t help but think to myself… “oh wow, it’s really costing him to live without my products or my services.” Or better yet, a bit more dramatically…” oh wow, he can’t live without me!”

I know we were told in counseling that when someone shares their problems, they are not necessarily asking for solutions. We are to nod, acknowledge, and repeat or summarize their frustration to let them know we are listening.

But, sometimes….we just HAVE to chime in. Especially knowing that it’s costing them money, opportunities, growth, and success if they don’t listen to us. LOL.

In business, we call this scenario “The Stakes”. What are you helping your customers overcome? Or, what are you helping your customers avoid?

We are currently in the “Power of the Landing Page” series. If you missed our last conversation, we talked about the most essential part of the landing page design, the Hero Section. If you missed it, you can check it out here.

After designing your perfect Hero Image and header, you now move on to the next section, “The Stakes.” In this section, you are communicating to your customer that there’s a problem that you are facing, and if you don’t fix it, it will COST you something.

Let’s do an example of a bike shop. The bike shop owner has a store in a cool, touristy beach town, and during the peak season, the traffic gets a bit overwhelming. She hears a lot of her local residents complaining about it. Also, the town is small enough for a lot of people to walk to coffee shops and grocery stores. So, she started an idea, a movement, a campaign to bring a lot of locals interested in purchasing a bike.

On “The Stake” section of her landing page, she wrote, “Life is too short to sit in traffic.” This resonates with the locals who complained about the traffic; they were frustrated because they felt like they were wasting their precious time away from enjoying their day in their beautiful beach town.

Then, in the next line, she wrote, “Traffic is no fun, don’t be held back.” This confirmed their thought on why the traffic made them frustrated. Not having fun, which is important to the locals in a beach town, and being held back, which is what they were feeling as it being a waste of their precious time. This is the COST. 

The final line she chose was, “You were designed for more.” Whoa!! I love the word “design” here because it gives a sense that there’s a better, more creative way that was strategically created specifically for the local residents dealing with the traffic issue. The entire line also gives a positive solution of hope.

So, let’s put it all together for a perfect “The Stakes” section for this bike shop.

LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO SIT IN TRAFFIC
Traffic is no fun, don’t be held back.
You were designed for more.

Here’s the actual designed image.
I hope this gives you a better design sense when you are creating your landing page. This being the second section of the landing page creates an urgency in your message to engage your audience right away, and what better way to do that than to let them know what is COSTING them to not buy your product or to not use your services?

By the way, if you are a good student and want to read ahead on our Landing page series, these resources I am giving you have been well-researched, developed, and tested by the New York Times bestselling author and marketing guru Donald Miller in his book, Marketing Made Simple. You can purchase your book here to dive deeper and learn more about how this format has been derived and the effects it will have on your brand.

So, are you ready to design your landing page? Well, not yet…we have more sections to go over that are essential to finalizing the perfect marketing landing page. In the meantime, what is the cost of someone not doing business with you? What are you helping your customers overcome? What are you helping your customers avoid? I would love to know and help you draft your “THE STAKES” section. Send it to me.

14Feb

Rain and the Landing Page Design

While reading this, I don’t know where you are, but I hope you are cozy, warm, and safe. We’ve been experiencing some unusual amount of rain here in Southern California. It’s raining right now as I write this, and I just heard that it’s in record numbers. Funny rain story: when I was dating Maria (we are now married…lol), I remember driving through the neighborhood in my car during a mid-summer day, and it started pouring…I mean, like crazy pouring…which doesn’t happen often in the Reno Desert where we grew up. She wanted me to stop the car. When I pulled over, she got out and started running, dancing, and jumping up and down in the rain in the middle of the street. She came back into my car, soaked and laughing hysterically. I think she enjoyed herself.

Fast forward 30+ years, she constantly checks the weather forecast and takes her umbrella if there’s even a slight 5% chance of rain…apparently, she does not want to get wet anymore. What happened to the crazy person I married? Hahaha

So, what does rain have to do with our new “The Power of a Landing Page” series? Absolutely nothing. I just wanted to share.

Back to the landing page, let me first remind you again why a landing page is so crucial to your business. If done correctly, it can be one of the most powerful tools for your growth. Your landing page’s primary goal is to convert visitors into leads or customers. How? By focusing on the specific call-to-action (CTA), such as filling out a form, making a purchase, or subscribing to their email communication..etc. You guide your visitors toward taking the desired action. A standard homepage on your website holds an entirely different purpose than what a Landing page can do. You can read more about it here.

Let’s get into the design of your landing page. As you think through how to structure your wireframe, let’s focus on the first thing your visitor will see: the Hero Image and the Message. You only get one chance to make a first impression. The Hero is the top section of your landing page and the first impression a customer will have about your product or service. You need to be very clear on what you are offering so that it will pique their interest and read the rest of the content. To do that, you’ll need these three main components:

  • What you offer
  • How it will make the customer’s life better
  • What they need to do to buy it.

It would help if you tried not to be too “touchy-feely” here by adding a vague and unclear message even though it sounds great. For example, “Imagine the possibilities,” “Unlock Your Potential,” “Experience the Difference,” or “Shape your Destiny.” For your landing page, you need to be direct and precise. Let your visitors know immediately what problem you solve for them. Let them know immediately what you offer, how you improve their life, and what they need to do next.

For example: (CTA is in Bold)

  • Injury lawyers committed to helping you get your life back: Give us a call
  • Great managers aren’t born, they’re trained: See how we do it
  • Surprise and delight your guests with handcrafted desserts: Order now

To take it further, I created this e-book to help you create that perfect first impression. You can download it here. Don’t worry, it’s free.

Here’s a quick homework you can do to get started on your landing page design. Answer this question: What should your hero message say?

Reply with your one-liner message, and I’ll give you some feedback.

I am looking forward to hearing from you. Tell me a funny story about you and the rain if you can’t think of a one-liner message. 🙂

 

07Feb

Knowledge is Power

I went to Costco yesterday in the mid-afternoon. It was a bit busy and everyone was beelining to the cart area to claim one for their shopping pleasure/comfort before they ran out. Instead of heading over to the typical area like everyone else, I looked over to the abandoned area. It’s a close vicinity of where the carts are positioned but often you’ll see two tangled carts stuck together on the side. I call this the “abandoned area”. No one goes there. As you can obviously observe, someone struggled with these two carts and they are no longer desirable. And I am sure some choice words were uttered under his breath. The visual makes me giggle.

I am an expert. I started working for a grocery store right when I got my driver’s license. My job was to first make eye contact and say hello to the customer, unload the goods from the carts onto the conveyor, then bag it. I’ll load the bags neatly back into the cart and ask if they need help out to their car. I also had to always be continuously aware of the cart inventory…if we were running low, I needed to run out to the parking lot and gather them back into the store.  So, as you can see, I dealt with carts a bunch. And yes, I also dealt with tangled carts that were abandoned. In fact, I became so good at constantly untangling the stuck carts all day long, I became a “tangled cart whisperer”, yes, that’s right, I became an expert un-tangler. Is that even a word? It is now.

What’s my point? Well, ever since my claim and honor of the title, “tangled cart whisperer” I no longer became afraid. For the last almost 40 years of my life, I walked proudly and confidently towards the tangled carts serving two purposes. One, to untangle and save someone the trouble, and two, to show off. The simple knowledge and experience made me the hero…in my own mind of course. Thus, my conclusion. Knowledge = Power.

I am going to start a new series on digital marketing to help you land more clients, create more leads, and bring more traffic to your website. Let’s call this series “The Power of a Landing Page.” I believe once you understand more in-depth what a landing page is (and is not), and how to structure it, design it, and bring traffic to it, you’ll become powerful. So, here it goes.

First, the biggest question I hear and one of the biggest confusion in the digital marketing world is the difference between a Homepage on your website and a Landing Page on your website.  Let me break it down for you because they serve two different purposes.

  • Homepage:
    • The homepage is the main or default page of a website.
    • It typically serves as an entry point to the entire website and provides an overview of the site’s content and navigation options.
    • It often includes a site’s logo, and main navigation menu, and may showcase featured or recent content.
    • The homepage is designed to cater to a broad audience and direct visitors to different sections of the website.
  • Landing Page:
    • A landing page is a standalone web page created for a specific marketing or advertising campaign.
    • It is designed with a focused goal, such as promoting a product, service, or event, or capturing leads.
    • Unlike the homepage, a landing page usually lacks extensive navigation options to keep visitors focused on the intended action.
    • Landing pages are often used in online advertising and are optimized for a particular audience or keyword.

In summary, the homepage is the central hub of a website, providing a general overview and navigation to various sections. On the other hand, a landing page is a specialized, standalone page created for a specific purpose, often related to marketing or advertising, with a focused call to action.

So, without this knowledge, what is the number one mistake that people make? They spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars creating an Ad to bring traffic to the WRONG page. In fact, the content on the Ad and the page that the Ad leads to creates more confusion than sales.  So, if you’ve run Ads for your business but don’t have a Landing Page, or you’ve never run an Ad to direct traffic to your content for leads, I am going to help you create and design the most effective landing page. I want to make you powerful and not be afraid of the unknown world of tangled digital marketing.

I’ll take the time to show you how the information should flow and how certain positioning of your narrative can spark someone’s attention and in a quick moment or so be engaged in your company…just by being landed on your landing page. I’ll go over what types of images work and why it’s important to use certain taglines to help connect and be relatable which can lead to an interest in someone in your company.

Are you ready to be powerful? Are you ready to tackle the tangled web of digital mess and confusion that you’ve set aside for abandonment? Let’s get to work. Stay tuned.

30Jan

The Secret of Life

My sister subscribes to my content and she reads them from time to time. I don’t think she reads all of them though. I test her sometimes by writing about things she might find interesting and sometimes she would reply with a comment. Let’s see if she reads this one. I’ll let you know.

So, this is it. I am going to stop talking about it. This will be my last effort in writing about “Goal Setting” for the year. I had a great time doing the research and I learned a ton. I hope you did too. If you need a recap, here’s a summary and links for your reference:

  • Goals? What Goals?: This is about why our brain works against us when we want to change and grow because when things are familiar and consistent, your brain feels safe and doesn’t want change. How do you fight this?
  • My Lame Unfinished Journal Collection: We don’t achieve the goals we set because we don’t seek help. But there are different types of help we need depending on what type of tendencies we have when it comes to setting goals. Figure out which one you are.
  • Can We Change Who We Are?: Can we truly fundamentally change? Even if we fulfilled our goals, would that now make us a different person? Aren’t goals supposed to change you? What’s the point? Find out more.
  • Why is it So Hard to Take Action? There are 4 things we can control that are intertwined and can determine our destiny and change. But there are 2 out of the 4 that are constantly in conflict. But if we learn how to control it, we can make some incredible progress. I am being vague but you have to read it to find out. It’s fascinating.

So, back to my sister. She’s a freak. An organization freak. A neat freak. A clean freak. She’s probably one of the most disciplined people I know and she’s just always been that way ever since I can remember. The other day, I was at her house and I noticed that my nails were pretty long. So, what’s a better place to clip your nails than at someone else’s house? I asked her where her nail clippers were and she quickly answered, “Upstairs, hall bath, top right drawer, left side, in the back”. When I opened up the drawer, I almost fainted. There was a clear plastic drawer organizer thingy with tons of dividers and on the left side – in the back was a section just the right size for a nail clipper and that very nail clipper was neatly placed in its place. How freaky. I thought.

Anyway, I didn’t think much of it but after goofing around for a while, I needed the nail clippers again, I looked around to see where I left it last and couldn’t find it anymore. “Hey sis, where did the nail clippers go that I just used?” She replied, “Upstairs, hall bath, top right drawer, left side, in the back”. Oh, what? She put it back already. So freaky.

What’s my point? There’s a tremendous focus, process, and place for this ONE THING. And she nailed it. (Get it? Nailed it).

My sister is also a minimalist and her closet is immaculate as you can imagine. I asked her how she keeps it so nice and tidy without letting it get out of control. She said it was easy. When you buy a new shirt, you hang it and you pick out a shirt to donate or give away. If you get one, you have to get rid of one. What an amazing concept. You get ONE, and you have to get rid of ONE.

Why am I capitalizing and bolding the word “ONE”? Because ONE is the final secret I want to share in your Goal Setting.

Focusing on just ONE thing to achieve your goals is often aligned with the philosophy of prioritization and concentration. The idea is rooted in the belief that by concentrating your efforts on a single, significant task or goal, you can maximize your efficiency and effectiveness.

This concept is popularized by the “One Thing” philosophy, as emphasized in the book “The ONE Thing” by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan. And yes, I read this book and he confirmed what my sister was doing was correct. If you want that ONE thing, you have to give up that other thing.

The philosophy suggests that by identifying and dedicating your energy to the most crucial task or goal, you can achieve better results than if you were to spread your efforts across multiple tasks. It involves recognizing your priorities, eliminating distractions, and dedicating significant time and focus to the most impactful activity. Like her nailing her nail clipper organization.

The benefits of focusing on one thing include increased productivity, improved quality of work, and a better chance of achieving meaningful and long-term success. It also helps prevent burnout and reduces the feeling of being overwhelmed by a multitude of tasks.

But more importantly, I’ll let you hear it from the real philosopher himself.

It’s the ONE thing. It’s the secret of life and it’s something you have to figure out. So, my final thought on this series is this, pick a goal, just one goal. Pick something meaningful that you know will impact your life and the lives around you. And focus on that ONE thing, all year. Just one. That’s it.

I am looking forward to celebrating the achievement of that ONE thing at the end of the year with you. Share with me if you want, I am curious and I want to cheer you on all year long. You can do it. It’s just one and it will change everything. I promise.

 

24Jan

Why Is It So Hard To Take Action?

I had an inspiration board long time ago. I cut out pictures from the magazine of dudes with certain physical characteristics. What did they look like? I am so glad you asked. They had low body fat and well-sculpted muscle definition. Especially around the stomach area. Let’s call it a six-pack. I would describe them as having a lean and chiseled body type with athletic appearance. Kind of like…like…what I am not. Ha!

So, why the inspiration board? Because I was taught that for me to reach my goals, I would have to visualize it. I was also taught that to take action, it would help to be inspired. And to be inspired, I need an inspiration board. So, there it was. And I looked at the board often and unfortunately, that’s about the only thing I did to achieve my goals of becoming a beautiful physical specimen of a human.

Where did I go wrong? I had all these dreams and ideas and things that I wanted to do and be. I tried and tried and tried but I just couldn’t get myself to take action. Even with the inspiration board. Why?

Here’s an answer that I think we all should know. This is something that most people in cognitive thought work like Psychology, Coaching and Counseling pretty much agree on.

There are 2 things in the world. Things we can control and things we cannot control. We cannot control people, we cannot control our past, we cannot control what happens out there in the world..let’s call those our circumstances. We cannot control our circumstances. So, what’s in our control? There are 4 things we CAN control that are intertwined and it can determine our destiny.

  1. Feelings
  2. Thoughts
  3. Action
  4. Results

And here’s the formula. Thoughts leads to Feelings, Feelings leads to Action, which leads to Results.

Our thoughts create our feelings. Do you agree with that? Our feelings are so important because they drive all our actions. They are the fuel for our actions. So, when you ask a question, why am I not taking action? It’s because of the way I feel. Or why am I taking an action I don’t want to be taking? It’s because of the way I feel. So, my feelings are driving my actions. And then, of course, my actions are always going to create the results I want in my life, or I don’t want in my life. My actions create my results.

I had to think about this for a while and really try to understand if my thoughts really lead to my feelings. I think this to be true for me. Then, does that mean, what I think is the most important component to my transformation? Whoa!!

What we decide to think is in our control. But, changing the way we think about ourselves is the most difficult task to overcome. We have over 60 thousand thoughts per day. I stopped counting my thoughts at nine. Who’s supervising my thoughts? Who’s paying attention to those thoughts? What narrative they are creating about me? For me, it’s mostly a false narrative. And if those thoughts are leading to my feelings, which leads me to action…what type of results am I getting?

Oh wow, hard works starts deep within. It’s going to take a lot more than just cutting out pics out of a magazine and displaying them on a cork board. It’s going to take work; it’s going to take compassion on myself and it’s going to take lot of discomfort to step out of my typical thought patterns and reprogram to who I was meant to be.

Where did I go wrong with the inspiration board? When I woke up to go to the gym to work out, I felt apathetic, I felt no drive…because I was telling myself that it didn’t matter anyway, that no matter how hard I worked out, I am never going to look like those guys anyways. My thoughts lead to my feelings which led to inaction which led to no result.

Hello? Can anyone relate?

New year, new me? How about same me with different thoughts of who I am. Internal work of listening to the negative voices in my head and changing them to true voices of courage, believing that I can because that’s just who I am. Let’s work!

Let me know your thoughts on this. Not only that, let me know your feelings on this as well. Hahah! Are we ready to grow together? Let’s gooooooo!!!!

17Jan

Can We Change Who We Are?

My goal is to someday be good enough at golf to earn PGA Teaching Professional credentials. This means having that coveted PGA logo next to my name and on my title. It will show that I have gone through the grueling 4-year curriculum and passed the PAT (Player Ability Test), which I have already taken over 7 times and failed. It’s not that I am not good enough to score to pass the test, which I do all the time playing casually with my friends, but something happens to me mentally during the qualifying round. Call it imposter syndrome, call it a mental block, call it whatever you want…I am struggling to pass and it’s driving me crazy.

Why am I torturing myself to do this? Because my ultimate goal is for me to get ready to phase into my retirement days, as a second career, teaching and helping elite high school and college-age athletes to be even better athletes competing at the highest level. Also, I have a plan for my future grandkids someday becoming professional touring golf pros. Hahaha! Don’t laugh. It’s my dream.

Back to my imposter syndrome and my mental block…I started reading a book called “With Winning in Mind” which is written by a 1976 Gold Medalist who found his success in sports that were predominantly “mental” and figured out a way to breakthrough one’s struggle to becoming the world’s greatest. So, I had to dive in and figure out what he has to say. One of the most intriguing ideas about his philosophy is his definition of “Self-Image”. He says a person’s Self-Image is how you think about yourself and that if you believe in yourself. If you have a positive Self-Image and are able to succeed at a high level. Your Self-Image and your performance are equal, meaning, if you don’t believe you can do it, you won’t be able to do it. But if you have a positive Self-Image and know it is “Like you” to be able to do it, then you will do it with ease. Interesting. I think he’s onto something.

Which begs another question. Can we fundamentally change who we are? Can we change what we think about ourselves? Can we change our personality? I mean, my self-image encompasses long-lasting patterns of thoughts, feelings, behaviors, even events and trauma that have occurred in my life that has shaped me. Oh, and let’s not forget the genetic factors and my childhood experiences and even environmental influences. I say changing myself is a complex and challenging process.

In fact, if you search “can a person change?” on google or YouTube, you will find yourself in the rabbit hole of information ranging from “no, you are who you are, you can change your behavior but you can’t change who you are at the core.” Or “absolutely you can change, you’ll just need the right tools, accountability, help and you can be transformed.” or “you can only change if you hit rock bottom and only way for survival is to change.” I’ve been researching this topic for over a week and my guess is that there isn’t a definite black and white answer.

So, why are we even making this a series. Why do we even bother with New Year Resolutions and dreaming out our transformation? New Year, New me? Or, New Year…same old me?

Great question, here’s my answer with a story. There’s a gal named Dorothy…I think she also has a dog but that’s not important. She has three friends who desperately want to change who they are. And Dorothy guides them to this brilliant wizard who grants them their wish of transformation. Let’s talk about each of her friends’ issues and how each of them was transformed, shall we?

  • Scarecrow: The Scarecrow desires a brain because he feels he lacks intelligence. In the end, the Wizard presents him with a diploma, symbolizing the intelligence he sought. However, it is later revealed that the Scarecrow had always been intelligent, and the diploma was more of a recognition of his existing wisdom.
  • Tin Man: The Tin Man longs for a heart, believing he is incapable of love and emotion. The Wizard provides him with a heart-shaped clock, assuring him that it will make a ticking sound when he is experiencing emotions. This gesture satisfies the Tin Man, who discovers that he had a kind and loving heart all along.
  • Cowardly Lion: The Cowardly Lion seeks courage, as he believes himself to be a coward. The Wizard gives him a medal, and although the Lion initially thinks it is a placebo, he later proves his bravery in various situations throughout their journey. This demonstrates that he had courage within him from the beginning.

Ultimately, Dorothy’s friends learn that the “change” they sought after was already within themselves, and the Wizard merely provided symbols or tokens to help them realize their inner strengths. They came to a profound realization that what they were seeking was already intrinsic to their being.

Can we change? Yes, we can. Can we grow? Yes, we can. Can we change our self-image? Yes, we can. Then, can we fundamentally change who we are? I don’t know…why would you want to if you already possess the change you want within you?

I have more to unpack next week. Stay tuned. Thanks for letting me think out loud.

Hanju

10Jan

My Lame Unfinished Journal Collection

I wish I could show you my journal collection. Hang on, let me go count them. I’ll be right back.

Okay, I counted 23. This includes the Full Focus Planner, Bullet Journal, Gratitude Journal, Brandon Burchard’s High-Performance Planner Journal… it includes many different designs of blank journals that I started filling in. Oh, and I didn’t even include the numerous digital journals I’ve downloaded over the years, thinking it would be easier to do it on my iPad. Why do I have so many journals? Because, at the beginning of every year, every quarter, or even every season, I make a commitment to myself to start journaling. Unfortunately, after about month 2 or 3, I stop. I get out of rhythm, and I somehow lose interest. Then, you guessed it, I re-commit, and with my pure and stubborn will, I start again. And when I start again, of course, I need a fresh new start, and that’s why I go buy a brand new journal. And that’s why I have 23 unfinished journals in my collection. Funny? Not really.

By the way, I started journaling again last month, and I’ve been doing it for 18 straight days without missing a day. I am super proud, and for some reason, I am thinking this could be the year. Could it? Or could it not? I will let you know.

Remember I said last week that I am going to help you accomplish your goals this year? I’ve been doing some research, and I have some insights to share with you. This concept is totally making sense to me, and this… this could be the year that changes EVERYTHING!

First, I am learning that we all have different tendencies when it comes to goal setting. Depending on your tendencies, we need to determine what type of help you’ll need. And if you find the right type of help and accountability, you’ll be on your way to a new you. So, ready? Let’s learn.

There are two types of expectations: Inner and Outer. Inner expectations are things you expect of yourself. Are you constantly disappointed in yourself because you are always breaking the promises you make to yourself? A common example is self-improvement goals that only you know about… losing weight, reading more, waking up earlier, being on time, etc.

Outer expectations are things other people expect from you. Are you constantly disappointing others because you are always breaking the promises you made to them? A common example is failing to hit deadlines at work or not turning in your homework on time or not showing up to an appointment.

There are 4 possible personality types in the 4 tendencies. Read through these and see where you fit in.

  1. Upholder: Absolutely meets inner and outer expectations. You love routines, schedules, and you love following the rules. People think you are extremely disciplined. You are highly productive, and you just know how to get it done. However, you are not flexible when it comes to needing to change plans, and sometimes, you really have a hard time relaxing.
  2. Questioner: Meets inner expectations only. You love researching, and you ask “why” a lot… too much, in fact. If you believe in the “why,” you can pretty much accomplish anything. So, your outer expectations have to also turn into inner expectations. You love logic, you love to analyze to make your decisions, and you value efficiency, and you are always trying to improve processes. However, you get stuck trying to figure everything out first, often taking action too late.
  3. Obliger: You put others ahead of yourself, and you value harmony in relationships. You NEED outer accountability to meet any inner expectation. You are super likable and very reliable. But you struggle with self-care, and you are always feeling obligation from others.
  4. Rebels: You do whatever you want to do… and you do it your own way, on your own time. If someone tells you to do the exact same thing, you will resist. You prefer to act from freedom, choice, and self-expression. You are your authentic self. You love challenges, and you love proving others wrong. You will also be known as being uncooperative.

And here are the ways that each person in their tendency can find help to achieve their goals.

  1. Upholder: You must clearly articulate your inner expectations. Write them down on your list and schedule them. There are only about 19% like you. Celebrate it and watch your dreams become a reality.
  2. Questioner: You must define the WHY for each of your goals and know the importance of reaching your why. This will be your number one motivator and purpose for reaching your goals. Think long and hard and write down your why next to your goals and focus on it. There are only 24% like you.
  3. Obliger: You can’t do it alone. You must create outer accountability. It’s not a sign of weakness; it’s just different wiring in the brain. Accountability could come in different forms for different people. Some of you just need a simple text reminder from others, but some of you might need supervision or monitoring from others to help you get things done.
  4. Rebels: Do it out of love rather than obligation. Get clarity on your own values and use it as your decision criteria for whether or not to do it. But once you decide to do it, go all in. Know that it would help you redefine your identity.

If this information is intriguing to you, you can find more information from the author Gretchen Rubin in the book “The Happiness Project.” The book will go in-depth in helping and guiding you to not only reach your goals but also understand your preference in how you do the work. Oh, also, here’s the quiz you can take to see which tendency category you are in: https://gretchenrubin.com/quiz/the-four-tendencies-quiz/

I hope this can be a helpful tool in your journey to your best year ever. How awesome would it be for us to dream out our goals for the year, write them down, and be disciplined and inspired to do the work… and finally watch it come to fruition? It can be done. I believe in you. I believe in me. I believe in us. Let’s make this year a year of transformation.

Oh, by the way, I am a questioner, what are you?

03Jan

Goals? What Goals?

New year, new you! So, do you want to set a bunch of goals that you most likely won’t reach? In fact, February 28th is the official day when all your set goals will die and won’t be thought of again until this time next year. Yup. But why? Why is it so hard?

Apparently, your brain ain’t so smart. According to Kara Loewntheil (Author, Yale & Harvard Graduate, Podcaster, Life Coach, etc.), as a human, once your basic material and safety needs are met, your brain’s tendency is toward comfort and stability. Nothing wrong with that. But, comfort and stability are also the opposite of change and growth.

Our brain has evolved to save energy and stay stable. So, if anything feels familiar and consistent, it signals to your brain that everything is safe. Nothing wrong with that. But, to your brain, ANYTHING can become familiar and consistent, even if it’s emotionally volatile, unpleasant, or damaging to you. Fighting at home, hating your own body, being in a dead-end relationship, over-drinking, over-eating, staying at the job you hate… they can all be familiar and consistent in your life, which means your brain is cool with it.

The thing is, most of us don’t want this for our lives; we have values of what we want our lives to be and look like. See the struggle? Our brain is prioritizing safety and stability to protect us from danger, but we need to step outside of that to change and grow.

This is where goals, or in our case, New Year resolutions, come in.

Goals are how you bridge the gap between your brain’s default operating system (familiar and consistent), which is the life you are currently living, to the life you actually want to live. Setting goals and executing them is how we bring our lives into alignment with our values.

Back to the original question: why is it so hard? The answer? It’s because we don’t have the right help. And the right help is determined by what each of us uniquely needs. What we uniquely need is determined by how we individually think and function (our tendencies) when it comes to goal setting.

I am excited to learn with you through our new series called “Goal Setting” as I am a constant goal-setter who struggles to keep it going strong throughout the year. I hope this will be the game-changer for all of us.

Stay tuned; I will explain the four types of tendencies and how they’re defined. I will summarize what we need to do once we figure out which category we belong to. I will even give you a link to take a 10-minute quiz to help guide you along in your discovery. With our new series, I hope to help us set goals and reach them. I hope to empower us from being comfortable and stable to wanting to change and grow. You with me? Let’s do this!

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