I did a quick search on my website through all the blogs I’ve written to see which word comes up the most. Apparently, I reference the word “success” a lot. Well, I guess in a way, we are all trying to achieve that somehow. But the bigger question is, what is it? How do you define it? And why am I referring to it so much? And not only me…why is EVERYONE so focused on chasing after it?

Well, here’s my answer. We want success because we are convinced that once we achieve it, we can get everything we want in life. 

That sounds logical. But still…what is it? What is success? Success is defined as an “accomplishment of an aim or purpose” or “the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence.” Hmmmm. That sounds good, but it also leaves a lot of room for interpretation and variations among people. I bet if you ask 10 people for their definitions, you might get 10 different answers…and over time, those answers from the same people might even change..

I thought it would be helpful and interesting to see what some people have thoughtfully shared about what success means for them. Here are some real examples:

• Success is freedom. Being able to wake up when I want to, travel where I want to, and do what I want to. (Entrepreneur)
• Success is the inner satisfaction and peace of mind knowing you’ve done your best with what you’ve been given. (Lawyer)
• Success is being able to tuck my kids into bed every night. (First Lady)
• Success is how well you do what you do when no one else is looking and keep on doing it. (Self-made billionaire and philanthropist)
• Success is having friends and just enjoying life. (75-Year-Old Man)

Me? Thanks for asking. I did this exercise once and it really helped me define and confirm what success would look like in my life. First, I wrote down my own definition of what my success would be. Then, I asked myself why this is important to me. I repeated that question 7 times to force myself to keep digging. I heard this exercise can also define your life purpose too. This is how it went for me:

• What is my idea/definition of success? I want to have deep, rich, and meaningful relationships in my life.
• Why is this important to me? Because life is better if you share it with others.
• Why is that important to me? Because research shows that this is also the root and source of happiness.
• Why is that important to me? Because I want to be happy. Don’t you?
• Why is that important to me? Because life is short, life is hard and life is painful at times.
• Why is that important to me? Because if you really look at it, we really need each other.
• Why is that important to me? Because when someone genuinely cares for me, life just seems better.
• Why is that important to me? Because then maybe if I care for someone else, their life can seem better too.
• Why is that important to me? Because I think deep down, relationships matter the most.

A wise person once said, “People may spend their whole lives climbing the ladder of success only to find, once they reach the top, that the ladder is leaning against the wrong wall.”

After doing this exercise, I hope I’ve found the right wall. My life is about continuously doing meaningful work and continuously pursuing meaningful relationships. What about you? What is your pursuit? What is the definition of success for you? Do the exercise above and please share it with me. 

Here’s to clearly defining success so we actually know when we’ve achieved it.

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