Circumstances are facts of life. Whatever circumstance you are in right now is what it is. You might have some thoughts about it, but the truth remains: You are in it, and you can’t control it.

Now, the thoughts in your head can be very different. Thoughts are sentences in your head and those sentences can range in every different direction. Many people have many different thoughts about the same circumstance that they might be in.

Are you still with me?

Thoughts cause feelings. Feelings are emotions. Thoughts cause your emotions…always.

Do you know what causes you to do something or not do something? Feelings. Action (what you do or don’t do) is fueled by your feelings.

Finally, every action you take or don’t take will result in some type of result. Results are the consequences or outcomes of your actions, inactions, or reactions.

So, let’s sum it up.

Circumstances are neutral. But your thoughts about that specific circumstance evoke some type of feeling, which fuels you to do something about it and take some type of action. Whatever you do will end up with some type of result. This is the ultimate formula called the “Model Framework,” and people use this framework to help them process, navigate, and win in life.

How?

Great question. The answer has everything to do with “The Mental Game.” which is the current series we are on. Before we get into it, this is what we covered so far on the subject.

• Process vs Outcome: One of the mental game techniques is focusing on the process rather than fixating on outcomes. Individuals can maintain motivation, reduce anxiety, and ultimately achieve greater success and fulfillment. READ MORE

Going back to the questions on how the model framework above can help me win in life, well…if you read the summary above, the initial kickstart of this formula that you CAN control is thoughts. If you can control the right type of thoughts, they will lead to certain types of feelings, which will help you take certain types of actions, which can help your result be what you want. So, would you agree that the most important part of this formula is Thoughts?

The truth is, we have lots of thoughts. Lots and lots of internal conversations in our heads every single day, every single minute, every single second; we are thinking, thinking, thinking. In 2005, the National Science Foundation published an article summarizing research on human thoughts per day. It was found that the average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. And guess what else they found? 80% of those thoughts were negative, and 95% were the same repetitive thoughts as the day before. I think I fit more in the 60,000 statistic. LOL.

It was also found that there’s power in our thoughts. It’s been proven over and over again with near-death circumstances or incredible triumphant moments in sports history filled with people who had vivid thoughts of survival and winning. In fact, if you ever get a chance, watch the ESPN documentary called Survive & Advance. It will move you to tears and also help you realize the power of thoughts. Coach Valvano was an NCAA basketball coach who desperately wanted his team to think about how he thought about the team…as the national champions. He wanted them to taste the goodness of the win and think and know they could achieve this. He believed this so much that he would have the team practice cutting down the net during practice. (Cutting down the net is a tradition that started in basketball after winning a significant match, the team would cut the net down to commemorate the win and keep it as a souvenir). He was reprogramming their thoughts to be champions. Here’s a 1:30 minute clip you need to watch.

So the ultimate question is, how do we change our daily internal dialogue, especially if it is 80% negative? Because our daily dialogue (thoughts) encompasses our beliefs and interpretations about us…our abilities, and the world around us. How we do this plays a crucial role in shaping our mindset and performance in sports, business, and life.

Here are some techniques:

• Listen: Before you come to a conclusion about your thoughts, be calm and listen to your thoughts. Pay attention to what you are saying to yourself and believing about yourself. Listening is the key to change. It will help you recognize patterns.
• Challenge: Once you identify your negative thoughts, challenge them. Question their validity. Is there evidence to support the negative thought, or is it only based on assumptions, past experiences, or someone else’s opinions? Consider the alternative, the more positive and truthful interpretations of the circumstances.
• Visualize: Imagine yourself succeeding. Visualize positive outcomes and picture yourself at your best. This will build confidence and change your thought patterns, just like Coach V did with his team.

So, that’s it? 1-2-3, done? Nope. Not at all. It’s a life-long process; for most, it’s a difficult journey of reprogramming what’s already been programmed in your mind. The way we were brought up, the trauma we endured, the environment we lived in, and the experiences we’ve lived all affect the way we think. But be encouraged, with each step you take, you will awaken the strength and resilience within, ready to take on obstacles and embrace the fullness of your potential. I think this is where the true joy comes in. Focus on the process of each step. You’ll start seeing the change. I believe in you.

Related posts:

The Mental Game Silence Mindfulness Can We Change Who We Are?